


Dreaming

by andlucyy



Category: The Outsiders - All Media Types, The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andlucyy/pseuds/andlucyy
Summary: While Johnny was amazed that the curve of someone’s lip could make him wanna forget about every barrier he ever put up, they were also the barriers that he’d built up after years and years of having his faith in things thrown back in his face.
Relationships: Johnny Cade/Dallas Winston
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72





	Dreaming

**Author's Note:**

> hi :) this is my first time writing jally so it might be a lil bad. also apologies for the ending it might be a little rushed. this fic is for niesa and alfie, I love you guys <3

When Johnny was cold out in the lot, he wished that Dally was there with him, laying on the car seats. They wouldn’t talk or touch or anything, just stay there and keep each other company. The two of them were like that -- Johnny hardly talked because he felt he had nothing to say and Dally didn’t speak because he didn’t need to say anything, so they just hung out together, sometimes in total silence, without a trace of apparent tension. 

But Dally never was there, so Johnny imagined he was. Occasionally, when he was feeling desperate, he thought about going to find Dallas but quickly shot down the idea. There was no way Johnny was gonna trek half way across Tulsa to Buck’s or wherever the hell Dally was just to ask him ‘can you sleep in the lot with me?’. But just imagining Dally there  _ did _ make him feel better about a lot of things, like getting chased out of the house by his parents, and the constant fear of getting jumped by socs, and it made him feel whole. 

Unfortunately, the bad feelings that came with the good were quick to creep in. The sight of his bruising skin, the sound of cars driving by, the feeling of cold and emptiness, all acted as cruel little memos, because no matter how hard Johnny tried to conjure him, Dally still wasn’t there and he was still alone.

But sometimes, if he was lucky, Dally came to him in dreams. It was always the same. They danced in the darkness to echoes of a song that no one could hear but them. They danced and danced until the sun came up and they were tired. They went to a big house in a small, empty neighbourhood without their parents, or socs, or anyone else in the gang and fell into bed. Dally kissed Johnny on his bruises and scars and lips and whispered ‘I love you’ before they fell asleep. Johnny wished he dreamt of that more often instead of the bad dreams where the gang found out about him and chased him out of the east side, out of Tulsa, out of Oklahoma until he couldn’t run anymore. 

That night, Johnny wasn’t cold, but he was still wishing Dally was there. He stared blankly into the slowly dying fire and thought about life if his parents loved him, if he loved himself, if Dally loved him. He smiled to himself bittersweetly as he imagined going home beat up and his parents taking care of him, not adding to it; and walking by the road and not wanting to hurl himself onto it, hoping for a truck to not see him; and loving Dally and being loved by Dally, fearless, knowing he wasn’t going to up and leave as soon as the thrill expired. 

His eyelids began fluttering shut approaching two in the morning. Johnny was tired, but when he not? It wasn’t just the sleepless nights, or the healing wounds tiring him. His thoughts and paranoia and emotions were draining, the feeling of the switchblade in his pocket was a constant reminder of the reason he needed it, which made the six pound knife feel like it was ten tonnes, the ugly mark on his face brought back painful memories every time he looked in the mirror. Johnny felt like he was constantly dragging around a weight and it was exhausting. 

It might’ve been rain, but Johnny felt water streaming down his face before he finally fell asleep. 

“Johnny.” 

He felt his chest tighten at the sudden sound. He was a light sleeper, but he had to be considering how often he spent nights in the lot. Johnny’s eyes flew open and he reached for his switchblade, ready to use it. He loosened his grip on the switchblade and tried to breathe when he saw a pair of worn motorcycle boots and faded levis that he immediately recognised as Dally’s. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Dal, don’t do that,” Johnny sighed sleepily, looking up at Dally’s face. 

“Sorry,” he drawled unapologetically. 

“What do you want? What time is it?” Johnny tried blinking the tiredness out of his eyes, as if he could see anything anyway. It was almost completely dark, apart from the small glow coming from the lit cigarette hanging from Dally’s mouth. 

“6a.m., get up,” Dally replied, nudging him with his foot. 

“Why?” 

“I wanna show you somethin’, c’mon.” Dally began walking away and Johnny got to his feet as fast as someone who woke up about a minute prior could. 

He followed Dally to a badly parked car across the lot, the low rumble of the engine and their footsteps the only sound in the otherwise silent morning. Johnny suppressed a yawn and wondered whether he was dreaming. Dally was all about impulsive spontaneity but he’d never looked for Johnny specifically to do something. 

“Where the hell are we goin’?” 

Dally took the final drag of his cigarette and tossed it away. He shrugged, “I didn’t really have anywhere in mind, I was just bored.” 

“Man, why’d you have to wake me up for it?” Johnny groaned softly and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Dally threw a smirk carelessly at him over his shoulder before getting in the car. 

_ Jesus, that look…  _ Johnny felt his cheeks warm up, which hopefully was invisible in the slowly darkness, bit his lip, and looked down at his battered sneakers. That smirk could break down Johnny’s entire defense system in seconds. It was incredible and horrible at the same time. While Johnny was amazed that the curve of someone’s lip could make him wanna forget about every barrier he ever put up, they were also the barriers that he’d built up after years and years of having his faith in things thrown back in his face. 

He got into the passenger seat of the definitely stolen car. It was far too nice to be Buck’s or something that Dally bought himself. 

“Where’d the car come from?” Johnny asked. 

Dally shrugged. “Saw it on my way over from Buck’s and got tired of walkin’.” He talked about stealing cars so casually, you’d think it was something he did every other day, which it was. 

Johnny almost smiled. 

Dally’s eyes flickered over to his left. “What are you smilin’ at?” 

“Nothin’.” Johnny leaned back in his seat and held Dally’s gaze, lips still slightly upturned. 

Dally narrowed his eyes at him and held back a grin as he began driving aimlessly through the streets, a lot slower than normal. After hanging out with Dally alone almost every day for a number of years he’d lost count of, Johnny had noticed that he wasn’t actually bad at driving, for some reason when other people were on the road, he felt the need to assert himself and let other people know that it was  _ him  _ around. Things were different when he was alone with Johnny, even little things like that. He thought the tameness was nice, though. 

Johnny stared out the passenger window and watched the scenery pass against the slowly rising sun. It was so still and perfect. Early mornings, when everyone was still asleep, were always like that. He wished the world could be in a constant state of pre-sunrise Tulsa. 

When he glanced at the wing mirror and saw how tired he looked, Johnny was almost shocked. His face seemed to have adopted a constant look of restlessness, and the dark bags under his drooping eyes were getting pretty noticeable. It was irritating because Johnny knew he wouldn’t be able to change it any time soon. Getting a good night’s sleep in a  _ bed _ was hard enough, let alone trying to sleep outside in the lot.  _ Another lovely reminder of life to go with the scar… great.  _

He sighed and turned away from the window. 

“S’up?” Dally asked, looking at Johnny. 

“Nothin’,” Johnny replied half-heartedly, slumping in his seat. 

Dally scoffed. “Don’t lie.”

_ Didn’t think he’d let that slide.  _ Johnny frowned and wondered whether resisting was worth it.  _ Fuck it.  _ “I guess life’s kinda shitty, ain’t it?” 

Dally hummed, surprisingly inviting him to continue. It was known that he didn’t do feelings, even when the two of them were together, they didn’t really open up unless it was a rare ‘I’ve had enough of life and wanna die’ moment, so Dally wanting him to talk was sort of unexpected. Regardless, Johnny did. 

“Like, I get that people probably have it a lot worse, but this is all kinda… tiring. Y’know, with the folks and the socs and all,” he went on, resting his head against the window and half-shutting his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s fucking shit.” 

“And there’s a lot I gotta be careful about,” Johnny said, unthinking, “like what I say, where I go, when I go there.”

“What can’t you say?” Dally interjected. 

Johnny laughed, soft and bitter. “If I said everything I wanted to, I’d be dead right now.” He felt himself slowly falling back asleep. 

“Like what?” he heard Dally’s distant-sounding voice. It was like music to his ears. 

“Oh y’know,” he mumbled and smiled with delirious carelessness, “I love you, all that stuff.” 

“Huh?”

And just like that, the music stopped and Johnny was painfully brought back to reality. Dally slammed down on the breaks, jerking him forward, aiding the consciousness. 

_ Fuck.  _

Johnny sat in his seat helplessly, wishing he could melt or something. He knew he’d fucked up  _ bad,  _ and he could feel Dally looking at him, but didn’t dare look back. Johnny didn’t know if he’d ever been more scared in his life. He certainly hadn’t been when his dad was hitting him, or when he was getting jumped by socs. If Dally started beating him up, he wouldn’t be able to fight back or run. 

_ This is it. This is it.  _

“What did you say?” 

Johnny couldn’t get words past his throat without wanting to burst into tears, so he stayed silent and frozen. Like there was much else he could do. 

“Johnny, look at me.” 

Johnny flinched. Dally saying that reminded him of his dad in the worst way possible. 

And then, there was silence for a few seconds that felt a few years. 

“Johnny,” Dally said, with a different tone. It didn’t sound angry or aggressive or anything, which was confusing, to say the least. Johnny thought that maybe he was being delusional, because there was  _ no way  _ he wasn’t planning on beating Johnny to a pulp and leaving him to bleed out and die in the street (he could, unfortunately, already picture it). But then, Dally continued. “Look at me,” he repeated, with the same soft tone. 

Johnny slowly willed his head to turn to Dallas. He wouldn’t allow himself to even consider Dally returning his feelings, but maybe, just maybe… Eventually, Johnny met his gaze and immediately saw piercing blue eyes staring into his own, and they didn’t seem cold or anything. What Johnny saw in Dally’s eyes was indescribable and new and slightly nerve-wracking. 

Dally brought his hand to Johnny’s cheek, and gingerly traced his thumb over his scar. Again, Johnny flinched but he soon realised that the touch wasn’t anything that he wanted to get away from, so he pressed his cheek against the calloused palm tentatively and felt a warm spread through his body. Dally studied Johnny’s face, eyes flitting from his features, and lingering on his lips. 

“Dal, don’t fuck with me,” Johnny hardly managed to say. He was simultaneously frightened of what was coming and excited about it. The fear wasn’t so much being scared of Dallas, it was more like the anticipation and longing was finally coming to a resolve and Johnny was scared that it won’t be as good as he imagined. It was getting hard to breathe.

Dally said nothing in response and instead inched his face closer to Johnny’s, moving at an excruciatingly slow pace. It felt like a century had passed before their lips finally grazed each other. 

It was Johnny who pulled away first. The warmth he once felt had developed into a fizzing feeling throughout his body, like he was a bottle of Coke that was going to explode.

“What was that?”

“What do you mean ‘what was that’?” 

“I mean, we’re stopped in the middle of the road where anyone could see us,” Johnny hissed. 

“Jesus, it’s six in the mornin’, no one’s gonna be peekin’ out their windows lookin’ for us,” Dally replied, leaning back against his seat. 

_ Way to ruin the moment, you fucking idiot. _ He silently cursed at himself. God, the things he’d give to go back ten seconds and not end the kiss he’d wanted for the longest time. 

Dally started driving again, less calmly then last time, which was unnerving. His turns began getting more sudden and jerky and braking was left to the very last second. The fizzing feeling in Johnny had worn out and was instead a very uncomfortable unrest. He began getting worried again -- he had no clue where they were going, what they were gonna do there, how Dallas was feeling. Everything about the situation was a risk. Johnny couldn’t even pluck up the courage to ask Dally anything. He felt even more useless and pathetic than he did normally. 

After a while of driving, they finally came to a complete, sudden stop outside Buck’s. Johnny exhaled and thanked God for his life. Daringly, he stole a glance at Dally out of the corner of his eye. He was staring right ahead, wrist draped over the steering wheel, not moving apart from the steady rise and fall of his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. 

“What for?” 

“For… this.” 

“Look, don’t be sorry,” Johnny consoled, not taking much time to consider what he was going to say, “I wanted this too.” 

The corner of Dally’s mouth upturned, and Johnny returned a sincere smile, then pressed a kiss onto his cheek. He felt uncharacteristically brave. 

“I’m beat,” Dally said after Johnny pulled away. “Was up all night last night, didn’t get a wink of sleep.” 

“How come?”

“Reasons.”

Johnny rolled his eyes and sighed. “Well, I’m tired too, so let’s get some sleep,” he replied, to which Dally agreed. 

They got out of the car with no intent to return it back to its actual owner and stumbled through Buck’s until they reached Dally’s room. The sun had risen and was making the room glow, despite the curtains being drawn. 

“Shitty curtains,” Dally mulled under his breath, hanging his jacket off a chair. Johnny took his own jacket and shoes off and tossed them away. Usually, he’d care more but he was too tired enough to not want to do much else. He felt like this was his chance to get a good night’s sleep for the first time in forever. 

After not many more minutes of fumbling around, the two collapsed onto the small bed. At first, they kept their backs to each other, but Dally got sick of the coyness and wrapped his arms around Johnny. “We won’t be falling off the bed like this,” Dally said. Johnny grinned and for once, felt genuinely warm, and safe, and not lonely. It felt indescribably amazing. 

Of course, Johnny’s thoughts took a turn and decided to second guess everything that was happening. Everything that had happened felt too real to be a dream, but too dream-like to be real. 

“Dal?” he whispered. 

“Yeah?”

“Am I dreaming?” Johnny felt stupid asking, but he just had to make sure. He had to make sure that when he woke up, he’d still be in the bed, in Dally’s arms. 

“No, but you will be if you go to sleep,” he replied, voice muffled against Johnny’s ungreased hair. 

“Okay, just makin’ sure.” Johnny smiled to himself. That moment, with Dally holding him and kissing him and whispering things in his ear felt like all his wishes and dreams, but so much better. It was finally real. Every touch, every sensation, it was all real, going down into  _ both  _ their memories. Johnny didn’t even start wondering if, since it was Dally, he was gonna eventually leave him. It was almost like his doubts didn’t matter and hadn’t existed in the first place. 

He might have dreamt it, but Johnny swore Dally kissed him on the cheek, and whispered, “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” 


End file.
